Main menu

Pages

Top 10 most useless items in video games

They say one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, but sometimes – in video games, at least – it can be more of a case where one man’s trash is another man, well, uh… waste. Yes, not all video game items are created equal, and a handful of the many trinkets you encounter may be entirely useless. Down below, we’ve dug up 10 of the most useless. Let’s start!

10. Wooden Shield – Bloodborne

Avoiding all mainstream wisdom when it comes to dealing with FromSoftware’s myriad monstrosities, you’d be forgiven for thinking Bloodborne’s Shield is a handy item to ward off those sweeping, devastating attacks that always send you six feet under. . . However, you would be wrong.

In a Souls-like that emphasizes aggression over defense, the wooden shield – which is literally the only shield in the entirety of the base game – is a total washout. Not only can you not level it, but you also cannot parry it.

Adding insult to injury is the fact that your natural stamina regeneration takes a hit when wielding a shield, and it doesn’t really protect you much from damage when you end up using it. In fact, it’s much more efficient to just dodge an oncoming attack and smack your opponent to replenish some health, which is basically the essence of the game’s ebb and flow.

9. Porn Mags – Metal Gear Solid Series

Image source: Konami

While the porn mags in the Metal Gear Solid series certainly have some, albeit very limited, utility, they’re largely a pointless item that’s likely to have you uttering the words, “Woah, there are actually porn mags in Metal. Gear Solid?”

Yes, the magazines in question actually serve a purpose in the game: you can use them to distract the guards. That said, there are plenty of other options available to you that will yield similar results. In fact, using pornographic magazines as a distraction can be a lot trickier than simply knocking out a nosy guard.

Still, they’re a pretty cool addition…especially when you notice the fact that there’s a Hideo Kojima interview hidden inside. I mean, that’s why you look at the pages so carefully, isn’t it? RIGHT?

8. Perfume – Silent Hill 3

The majority of items in Konami’s iconic misty lakeside town are incredibly useful, helping you either overcome tricky puzzles, heal your wounds, or devastate twisted manifestations of your inner guilt, fear, and desires. Then there’s the fragrance, which goes, uh…. what the hell is this very thing doing do? Oh yeah, it attracts monsters to come out of the shadows and slaughter you. Practice!

Okay, so if you want to get super technical, this has some kind of utility, even if it’s incredibly niche. To unlock some of the most powerful weapons in Silent Hill 3, you’ll need to defeat 100 monsters in one game.

So if you’re looking to grind for the Heather Beam – one of the coolest guns in the game – you might want to use this item to get there. Other than that, though, it’s a complete waste of time. You have been warned!

7. Shard of Glass – Elden Ring

Image source: FromSoftware

Much like Souls, there’s usually an element in every title that’s intentionally completely unnecessary for the sole purpose of bamboozling unsuspecting players. In Dark Souls we had the pendant and in Bloodborne we had the aforementioned wooden shield. But what about Elden Ring? Enter the glass shard.

At first glance, it looks like it might offer some reprieve as it’s classed as a consumable item. But in practice, the Glass Shard is absolutely zipped. You can’t use it as a crafting ingredient, and you can’t even sell those damn things.

Even his description of the item calls it “worthless trash”. Thank you, Hidetaka Miyazaki. (She’s someone I’m taking off my holiday shopping list!)

6. Burned Books – Fallout Series and Elder Scrolls

They say books are fountains of knowledge, but what if the books in question are more burnt than my Sunday ham roast? Well, they become less fountains of knowledge and more puddles of mindless nonsense. And who the hell wants that?

Yes, I wish I could say there was a deep and meaningful hidden purpose in those charred pages, but sadly the plethora of burnt books you find scattered across the Wasteland, Mojave Desert and Tamriel are just useless . Next!

5. Dead Bushes – Minecraft

Minecraft, dead bushes

In Minecraft, the world is your blocky oyster. You can create majestic creations like cozy cottages, underground bases, and cute chambers, or you can just modify the game to make the kingdom come.

Every block looks useful and helpful. From shiny diamonds that can be used to craft better gear to obsidian blocks that can be used to build nether portals, everything feels interconnected and meaningful.

And then there are the dead bushes that are just a void of empty nothingness. I mean, they can drop a stick if you need it, but other than that, they just sit there looking sad and lonely. And who wants that? Nobody, who is it.

4. The Pendant – Dark Souls

Image source: FromSoftware

The pendant is perhaps the most famous video game item in the world that is as useful as an underwater shower. Not only does this not do anything practical, but even the game director has publicly declared it to be a “prank”.

Indeed, this parting gift is just a troll item, so if you’re looking for something practical that will help you survive the Drangleic Realm, we suggest avoiding the old pendant. On the other hand, if you want to make a super hard game even harder, then go for it, you masochist, you.

3. The Red Hook – Darkest Dungeon

The Red Hook, Darkest Dungeon
Image source: Red Hook Studios (via Reddit)

Okay, so this is less of an item and more of a monument to build in Red Hook Studios’ grueling rogue-lite, but still!

Yes, The Red Hook is one of the most expensive buildings you can build in your Hamlet, and while all the other buildings have some purpose and utility, this one is absolutely bupkiss. Instead, it’s just there, pretty, and more of a symbol of your needless greed than anything else.

Some fans thought it might have some hidden meaning or secret purpose, but no. He stares at you like a toddler who just left a pressie in his diaper. Speaking of what…

2. Kill Arrow – Mind Shit

Image source: MegaCrit

Oddly enough, the last two items on this list look a lot alike. First up we have Slay The Spire’s Spirit Poop, which is just as disgusting as it is pointless.

In this rogue-lite deck builder, there are many relics in the game that are absolute game changers that can help you achieve victory from the jaws of defeat. And then there’s the Spirit Poop, which is an event relic you get from the Bonfire Spirits event.

Its goal? It’s worth absolutely nothing and just subtracts a point from your overall score once you’ve completed a run or once you’ve been killed.

1. Hestu’s Gift – The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Image source: Nintendo

One of the coolest things about The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is finding Korok Seeds which can then be used to unlock weapon slots and other meaningful upgrades. Thing is, you actually only need – *check notes* – 441 Korok Seeds to unlock everything.

Unfortunately, there are actually 900 of the elusive Golden Cores throughout the game. How about collecting them painstakingly? Won’t you get something super cool? Well not really.

Instead, you get Hestu’s Wonderful Gift, which is a big golden poop that’s…completely useless. Not only does this serve no material purpose, but it forces Hestu to do a dance that, if we’re being completely honest, just stirs salt in the wound. Sorry, Hestu!

Comments